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‘If Cosmic Ordering works, why is Noel Edmonds still here?’ asks nation

edmonds

Categoric proof that there is no God.

A national experiment has shown that the lingering presence of Noel Edmonds disproves the existence of ‘Cosmic Ordering’.

Cosmic Ordering is the practice of writing down a list of things that you want, and then waiting for them to arrive.

Yet despite nearly 38% of the population jotting down “make Edmonds piss off”, the suspiciously dark-bearded pillock is still here.
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