Popcorn sales have soared as the British public sit back in their armchairs to watch the Tories tear each other apart, hopefully literally.
“It’s great entertainment, think ‘the Hunger Games’, but for older, fat people” beamed life-long socialist and Harold Café owner Pippa Delaney. “And there’s no petty backstabbing, they’re all going straight for each other’s hearts – good luck if they can find one!”
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