Popcorn sales have soared as the British public sit back in their armchairs to watch the Tories tear each other apart, hopefully literally.
“It’s great entertainment, think ‘the Hunger Games’, but for older, fat people” beamed life-long socialist and Harold Café owner Pippa Delaney. “And there’s no petty backstabbing, they’re all going straight for each other’s hearts – good luck if they can find one!”
Continue reading
Comments Off on If this is a Tory civil war, imagine what it will be like when it gets nasty
Filed under Politics
Now available in a new flavour that will leave a slightly bitter taste in the mouth
Ahead of the spending review announcement in Parliament on Wednesday, details have leaked about the latest plan to get the UK’s economy on track. As well as £11.5bn of additional cuts, George Osborne intends to nationalise the cinema popcorn trade.
“The NHS, MOD and all other government owned acronyms only ever take money from the treasury without giving anything back” the draft of the Chancellor’s statement says.
“Looking into the cinema popcorn trade shows it has a mark-up of nearly 1400%. At it’s retail price, gram-for-gram it has more value than the country’s gold reserves.”
You must be logged in to post a comment.