Tesco has announced a range of mobility scooter calming measures, including speed bumps placed at regular intervals in the aisles.
Analysts have linked Tesco’s fall in profits with last year’s purchase of a Sunset Freedom Anklebain by Harold pensioner Doris Kettle. Draped in rain gear and cackling manically as she careers around the store while high on Sanatogen, some shoppers are so desperate they’re even taking their chances in Lidl.
Store manager Paul Watts hopes to restore some civility to his store, and the speed bumps are just one part of a strategy to get Doris to ‘Slow the Hell Down’.
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