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Fury as primary school bans cigarettes from lunch boxes

kid-smokingParents in Harold have reacted angrily to the news that they will no longer be allowed to pack cigarettes in their children’s lunch boxes.

For generations, schoolkids in Harold have looked forward to the lunch-time bell, and the little treats tucked away for ‘after their sandwiches’. A couple of Woodbines, a miniature bottle of scotch, or a horse valium to get them through a hard afternoon’s colouring-in.

Melody Hallett was one of the first to complain about the latest excess of a ‘nanny state’, despite not having any children to worry about.

“It wouldn’t have been a school dinner without a filter tip for dessert”, said Hallet. “We used to love tucking into one after we’d choked down the main course. But now, kids aren’t even allowed to pick the magic mushrooms that grow on the school field. Is it any wonder so many of them look bored?”
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