Tag Archives: Jesus toast

Consumer concern about the possible health effects of eating toast containing images of Jesus has led to some bread companies introducing a ‘Jesus-free’ option.

Jesus-free proponents say that traditional toast contains significant amounts of images of Jesus and the Virgin Mary and this can dull the capacity for individual thought and leave people reliant on fairy stories and miracles. It also leaves a stodgy, bloated feeling in the stomach and causes wind.

“I’ve felt much more energetic and alive since moving to Jesus-free toast” observed Harold café owner Pippa Delaney. “I wake up earlier, I have the energy for a decent walk, and I’ve stopped giving ten percent of my money to the Church.”
Continue reading →