Button and Coulthard in happier times
Jenson Button lost his cool on the grid of the Spanish GP today, after being asked the same questions for the 300th time.
“For f*cks sake, David! I’ll drive as fast as I can until the tyres wear out, then I’ll come in for a new set”.
“After that I’ll go back out and do the same thing all over again.”
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In a bold bid to revive their moribund 2015 campaign, McLaren F1 have had Juan Manuel Fangio exhumed.
The legendary Argentian won five World Championships in the 1950s “…but we rather hoped he’d been buried in a Maserati 250F.” said McLaren boss Ron Dennis “Computer simulations show that it’s 3 seconds a lap quicker than our current car.”
Dennis was initially disappointed to find no car but soon cheered up “It turns out the Hertz van we hired is astonishingly fast. Even fully loaded with pick axes, shovels, soil and coffin. So we’ve hired it for the rest of the season”.
“And once we’d hosed him down” he added “Fangio looked a bit more lively than Jenson or Fernando so we signed him up too. We’re just a bit concerned that his level of activity might wake up armchair F1 fans on Sunday afternoons.”
When he came in for a pit stop, we noticed his watch and helmet were missing
Jenson Button has been robbed while he was unconscious, after nodding off on lap 7 of a grand prix.
Jenson Button’s Formula 1 car has struggled for pace this season, to the point where his engineer has to scream ‘wake up’ every 35 seconds.
‘On this occasion, while Jenson was barrelling along at 38 miles an hour, we forgot to contact him because we were just resting our eyes’, said Ron Dennis.
‘ When he came in for a pit stop, we noticed his watch and helmet were missing. Continue reading
The AA managed to perform a tyre change in under 2 hours and 13 minutes.
Jenson Button is delighted with the performance of his Honda Civic powered McLaren F1 car and the new AA sponsorship. “The AA has made me a priority case. If they can’t fix the car track-side within 30 minutes they’ll tow me back to the pits. Which will help save fuel and be good for my lap times too.”
The AA link-up is new for Button but he has a long history with Honda, having been blessed by their previous F1 effort until 2008. “When Honda quit, the team had a small party then lashed together a new car with Mercedes power, which sadly won me the 2009 title.”
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