A man sitting in the offices of an undisclosed local newspaper is a manky, filthy tramp-pig, according to unnamed sources.
Accused of burping, sniffing and farting simultaneously and harvesting nose hair with his fingers, the alleged oaf also eats cake for breakfast, it can be revealed.
“Although these activities aren’t illegal, some working at the newspaper think they should be”, said one employee. “Especially those who sit within range of his spittle.”
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