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NHS set to offer tape worms to fatties instead of gastric bands

Timmy the Tapeworm ..... and host

Timmy the Tapeworm ….. and host

Instead of spending thousands of pounds on expensive surgery, the NHS is understood to be planning to provide obese patients with their own pet tape worm.

No invasive procedures are required in this breakthrough treatment. In trials, the tape worm was introduced to the patient disguised in a cream cake.  There was one unfortunate incident when a worm was ingested via a burger, but officials at the Dunstable & District General have stressed this was an isolated incident and the kitchen hygiene policy is now being observed.

“At first I was gutted to find I was being given a tape worm instead of a posh gastric band,” said Harold resident  Jane Fondant

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