Tag Archives: compensation

Fury as unsolicited Charlie Sheen compensation calls replace PPI nuisance

Aaaaaagh!

Aaaaaagh!

After years of being inundated by unsolicited calls providing PPI miss-selling compensation opportunities, the world is bracing itself for a deluge of calls from opportunistic law firms offering potential riches if you are one of the lucky millions to have been bedded by Charlie Sheen.

Only a day after the actor comedian admitted his positive HIV status, the calls have started. Harold resident Nigel Thorvald grumpily answered his phone at five o’clock this morning only to hear the following pre-recorded message:

“Have you been shagged at any time by Charlie Sheen? If so, we believe you may be entitled to compensation. Please dial 967 to be put in touch with a fully trained advisor with an accent you can’t understand.” Continue reading

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Research into ‘personal injury lawyers’ ads shows most accidents are caused by idiots

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An in-depth study of personal injury lawyer adverts has conclusively proven the vast majority of accidents are caused by idiots.

“We decided to look into the issue when we saw an advert claiming ‘Dave got paid £15,000 after he used the wrong ladder’,” said a researcher at the Harold Institute of Statistics.

“When we looked into it further and it turned out Dave had made his ladder out of damp cardboard boxes and Sellotape.”

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