Mr Miliband apparently agreed to lead the party in 2010, but subsequently seems to have realised he had something else planned, at least, that’s the only way to explain his seeming invisibility.
“It’s like he just couldn’t be bothered to show up,” complained TUC General Secretary and mother of two Frances O’Grady. “We wouldn’t mind, but we paid for the charisma training.”
“I got the invoice this morning,” admitted Miliband to journalists. “They said they would take me to the small claims court if I don’t pay. I just think it’s really unfair. I’m the Leader of the Opposition, I think”
Legal experts believe it is actually unlikely that Miliband will be forced to pay the bill. The Evening Harold’s Legal correspondent insisted: “A legal contract can only be made with a fully-mature grown adult. We think that says it all.”