Continuing with his mission to rid the world of all threats to the United States of America, President Obama has said he is to launch air attacks on the European Ryder Cup team.
“There is a clear threat to the US in the golf,” Obama said in a speech to the US Congress. “A red line has been crossed and now we must act now stop more American citizens being humiliated overseas.”
Apparently they don’t all look like this
The standard cliché when reporting on news from the USA may have to be retired following claims from explorers that a third America has been discovered.
“We’re very excited,” said Louisa McClaren, reader in geography at Dunstable University and leader of an expedition which saw a small team of researchers visit all fifty states in the USA. “For a long time pundits have endlessly claimed that America is really two countries with the coastal cities being one and the one where all the culture, science and coherent politics happens and that that country is wrapped around a sprawling mass of flyover states whose inhabitants have dispensed with rational thought and fully embraced Christian fundamentalism, firearms and morbid obesity.” Continue reading
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