Category Archives: Technology

‘Invisibility cloak’ pioneer fails to turn up for physics prize again

prize

Pendry (centre) nearly seen accepting his prize

The physicist who proposed the idea of an “invisibility cloak” has failed to appear to receive the Newton Medal, the highest honour of the UK’s Institute of Physics. Imperial College’s Professor Sir John Pendry had been awarded the medal for his work on cloaking and stealth camouflage, but despite assuring organisers he would attend, when the presentation ceremony began he was nowhere to be seen. Some guests swore they could hear someone trying to attract attention in the background, but all attempts at searching were in vain.

This is not the first time Professor Pendry has mysteriously gone absent from an important event. A few months ago he was due to speak at a meeting of the Government’s special committee on scientific matters, but his chair remained empty thr0ughout the session, despite organisers having the odd feeling that they were being watched.

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Filed under Lost and Found, Technology

High Pressure Aromatherapy for Tramps: more chi, less cheese

trampjetsTired of your tramp stinking?  Fed up of the stench of stale urine, Special Brew and BO? Had enough of your local vagabond being surrounded by their own cloud of flies?  Or worse, is your hobo’s aura showing signs of wear and tear? Then Mick Clarkson of Clarkson’s Cars has the answer!!

Following on from the success of his car wash and automated dog grooming businesses, Mick has launched another innovative service: high pressure Aromatherapy for Tramps.

Speaking exclusively to the Evening Harold, Mr Clarkson told us that the inspiration for his new venture came from the annual Trampfest, which sees hundreds of people who are strangers to soap descend upon the village.
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Filed under Around Harold, Business, Technology

Know your limits – the danger of binge Facebook sharing

Just say no

Just say no

The serious social issue of binge Facebook sharing has reached epidemic proportions, with some people over-indulging so much that they spend almost the entire weekend in a kitten-photo induced coma.

The problem is again in the spotlight after a weekend when the Harold Accident and Emergency department was overwhelmed with binge Facebookers after they had shared one chain horse meat joke too many and had friends come round and punch their lights out.

Dunstable University social media expert Professor Luke Thorne pointed out that mild Facebook sharing wasn’t a problem, but overindulgence was.
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Filed under Around Harold, Lifestyle, Technology

Politicians raise concerns over ‘Google Underpants’ privacy

google_ass

Say “Cheese”!

US politicians are urgently seeking assurances from Google that its new ‘smart underpants’ will respect personal privacy. The underpants, codenamed “Google Ass”, appear similar to traditional underwear, but contain a ‘heads-up’ display with camera and microphone, which sit snugly on the wearer’s right testicle (most users are believed to be male).

A letter signed by members of the Congressional privacy caucus has been sent to Google posing several questions about the data the gadget will collect from users, and concerns were also raised about the privacy implications of having a camera strapped permanently to one’s cock. The caucus has quizzed many tech companies in the past on what they do with the information they gather from users’ genitals, and famously reprimanded Sony for not making it clear to customers that the new “Buttman” music player included DRM which meant once inserted, it could only be removed in-store, causing much embarrassment to shoppers.
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Filed under Dating, Fashion, Lifestyle, Technology