Know your limits – the danger of binge Facebook sharing

The serious social issue of binge Facebook sharing has reached epidemic proportions, with some people over-indulging so much that they spend almost the entire weekend in a kitten-photo induced coma.

The problem is again in the spotlight after a weekend when the Harold Accident and Emergency department was overwhelmed with binge Facebookers after they had shared one chain horse meat joke too many and had friends come round and punch their lights out.

Dunstable University social media expert Professor Luke Thorne pointed out that mild Facebook sharing wasn’t a problem, but overindulgence was.

“Research actually shows that sharing two Evening Harold articles a day provides health benefits and leads to a longer, happier life. But start sharing right-on left wing articles and videos of ugly talent show contestants with surprisingly good voices and you are well on your way to a full-blown addiction. Before you know it you will be indulging in the crack cocaine of Facebook sharing – funny cat videos.”

Professor Thorne said there are some ways to prevent Facebook sharing becoming a problem, such as not sharing before lunchtime, and not sharing when alone. But if the urge to share is still too strong, then the only option is to go cold turkey and move to Bebo.

Harold teenager Kevin Ronsson pointed out that the combination of peer pressure and emotional blackmail made it hard to stop binge sharing.

“You know deep down that sharing that heart-rendering photo of Mr Super Paws will not suddenly make his failing little kitten kidney process those waste products any better. But you also know that Clare Evans and Debbie Fowles both love kittens, and both have very nice breasts. So you share, but you can’t help feeling dirty.”

Harold Mayor Rufus D Jackson said he sympathised with the pressures youngsters were under, and said the Council was taking active steps to educate them about the dangers of binge Facebook sharing.

“We have started a social media campaign with slogans such as ‘do you know where that share is taking you?’ and ‘think, before you drink, before you share’. The campaign has already gone viral, and I encourage everyone to spread the message to their Facebook friends for the good of the children.”

PLEASE SAVE THE LIFE OF A BINGE FACEBOOK SHARER BY SENDING THEM THIS ARTICLE