NHS considers barring Jeremy Hunt from walking in

That feeling you get when you bang your funny bone made flesh and given a Cabinet position, Jeremy Hunt, is a clear threat to the nation’s wellbeing but is banning him from turning up at hospitals whenever he feels like it the solution to preventing a winter health crisis?
“We are considering trialling a ‘talk before you walk’ system,’said an NHS spokesperson. “Rather than have Jeremy blundering into hospitals causing chaos and forcing us to waste time and resources on him, a system where he has to complete a phone assessment first would be better for everyone.”
“In order to access NHS care Jeremy would have to deal with a GP’s receptionist,” they said. “Given how difficult it is to cross that particular barrier we’re fairly confident that we’ll never hear from the oleaginous little tit again.”