Support group for those who still can’t believe Trump is president overwhelmed

Look at that face, is that really the so-called Leader of the Free World? We’d prefer Mr Pastry

An urgent appeal for volunteers has been made by a group set up to help those who just can’t take in the fact that the United States has an illiterate and racist satsuma in charge of it.

“We are completely overwhelmed,” Local vicar Rev Tansy Forster told us. “I started the group because I felt there was a need for some people in the village to be able to access a more structured way of healing from the reality that the world’s noisiest country is being run by a man who makes Forrest Gump look like Descartes and has less self-control than an MP given a blank expenses claim form.”

“I thought perhaps four or five villagers would attend but we’ve had people flooding in from all over the world! If there is anyone out there who could come and help at tonight’s lecture ‘President Bartlet can’t take over and Doctor Who can’t save us’ they would be very welcome.”

“All volunteers of course must be entirely able to grasp that Donald Trump is the President of the USA and that this isn’t all some horrible joke. Anyone? Anyone at all?”