Police ‘delighted’ with new lengthy paperwork requirements

On a good day Jackson completes one in under 4 hours

New rules, that mean having to fill in a 10 page form every time they speak to someone, have delighted police.

“Ten pages is nothing, bring it on.” chuckled Dunstable police’s PC Jackson. “This is why I joined the Police. I always wanted to make a difference.”

“Yesterday, for instance, I spoke to a woman who asked the way to Whipsnade zoo and then spent a lovely few hours back at the station filling in the details.” she said. “I didn’t finish typing until six o’clock, by which time Whipsnade had shut for the day, and the driver became very angry.”

“Unfortunately, I had to warn her to calm down, which meant starting a second form. Eventually my sergeant agreed to let her out at nine o’clock because the kids in her school minibus were getting hungry and banging on the windows.”

“I’d thought about going down to the car park and telling them to keep the noise down” explained Jackson “but my shift finished at ten and I didn’t have time to fill in a third form. And of course there’s our overtime ban, as we’re overstretched for some reason.”