Exasperated IDS: “causing real misery is why I created the benefit cap!”

Duncan Smith, before causing real misery was somehow “a bad thing”

Iain Duncan Smith has reacted with fury to the High Court ruling that his benefit cap causes ‘real misery for no good purpose’. “Real misery is the whole purpose of the cap!” cried the Dr Mengele of modern Conservatism, the man who said he could live on £53 a week then, without irony, billed us lot for a £39 breakfast.

“That’s the trouble with Judges, they don’t live in the real world. They may not even read the Daily Mail, so probably turn up for work each morning with a decent resting heart rate and no great hatred of foreigners and the poor.”

“Hating the poor is what still gets me out of bed every day.” insisted Duncan Smith. “Well, that and a nagging fear that some more of the lies on my CV have come to light overnight.”

“Buggering the whole country by lying in giant letters on a bus is all well and good but it’s the individual acts of unkindness that make life worth living. It does for me, anyway.”