Police quiz Paul Nuttall over “holding feet to fire” threat

Anyone else hearing General Melchett? “Baaah”

The Met have questioned this month’s Ukip leader Paul Nuttall, after he issued threats to “hold the goverment’s feet to the fire”, during the official launch of Ukip’s election campaign.

“If enough people are stupid enough to vote for him” said Met Commissioner Cressida Dick “Mr Nuttall  threatened some form of physical violence. Taking hold of another person’s feet without consent is common assault, at the very least but holding them against a fire is much more serious.”

“There’s also a potential arson charge.” the Commissioner explained “Detectives visited and spoke with Mr Nuttall but aren’t sure if he has the mental capacity to start a fire, even though he claims to be the Chief Scout.”

“Our assessment would certainly have been much easier if only Mr Nuttall had stopped swinging on his tyre for a few minutes.”

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