Daily Mail demands cut-price summer BBQs, as well as holidays

There’s a big demand for these chops so you can have one at half-price

Well-known free market critic, the Daily Mail, has called on the government to cap the cost of BBQs in warm weather.

Inspired by the story of Jon Platt, who rejects the laws of supply and demand when they increase his holiday costs, the Mail is expanding its campaign for discount-price holidays during peak periods, to include other seasonal goods and services.

“Retailers ‘somehow’ manage to sell a Weber Genesis E330 BBQ for £700 in January” whined Sarah Vine, who used to be a journalist, “but barely three months later, the sun comes out and they’re all ‘It’s £1,599 take it or leave it’. It must be Jeremy Corbyn’s fault.”

Vine says people are so used to sharp practice that they no longer recognise when they’re being “ripped off” and highlights the scandalous cost of Christmas trees in December as a prime example. “I bought one last week for a fiver but at Christmas it would go for £25!”

Alec Fairchild, Mail reader and Harold pub bore agrees.”Garden furniture.” he said ” They were all but giving it away at Homebase in January. I went yesterday  and the bastards have them all up at full price!  Greedy corporate machines, taxing the little man, it shouldn’t be allowed.”

“I don’t know how they sleep at night.” said Vine, adding “But if they want a tip from me, if Michael comes a-calling with his clammy hands, I usually pretend to snore, which quite often leads on to real sleep.”