Kickstarter campaign launched to send Death on holiday

Hello Sandman fans, you're looking lovely today

Hello Sandman fans, you’re looking lovely today

As more famous people who everyone really liked die and obituary writers everywhere call in sick with exhaustion, a Kickstarter campaign has been launched to pay for the Grim Reaper to go on holiday so us mere mortals can have a break from miserableness.

“It seemed like the right thing to do,” said the villager behind the campaign, Carly Jeffery. “I don’t know what’s bringing me down more: people I thought were great dying or smug arseholes on social media telling everyone it’s wrong to be upset over the death of a celebrity when people are dying in Aleppo, then acting like they’ve thrown a hundred and one or more in six darts on Bully’s Morality Prize Board.”

“I reckon if everyone in Harold chucks in a few quid we can send Death off on a nice cruise and relax for a while,” she said. “Once we’ve moved Sir David Attenborough and Dame Judi Dench to a safe location that is.”

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