Humbug
The ghosts who for over one hundred and seventy years have been successfully haunting misanthropic rich men and getting them to see the error of their ways have refused to work their magic on Donald Trump. The ghosts’ agent, C.J.H Dickens, said that they’d been offered the gig and begged to attend by Trump’s transition team however all three have said no.
“The ghosts feel that it would damage their careers to be associated with such a toxic person,” said Dickens. “Despite the gig generating a lot of media attention they would rather ram it and go and haunt an anonymous hedge fund manager tonight instead.”
Donald Trump took to Twitter to give his version of events saying “So-called “A” list ghosts called ME! Don’t need moral advice. My primary consultant is myself and I have a good instinct for this stuff. Will also accept Nickleback or Beach Boys.”
With this chance of yuletide redemption scuppered many are now pinning their hopes on Mephistopheles putting in an appearance at Trump Tower before the presidential inauguration but his agent C. Marlowe is currently refusing to comment.
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