A nation mourns as breakfast is served perfectly


The reason why everyone in the UK can count to three in Spanish

Today has gotten off to an efficient and unhappy start as breakfast everywhere was served without incident due to a sudden, sad shortage of little waiters from Barcelona.

Every tray had the right amount of butter and all questions were answered properly and not with a ‘Que?’ and a blank look. There were no mishaps, outbreaks of spoon-based violence and absolutely no moose heads.

While perfection is usually a desirable thing most people this morning couldn’t help but feel that it was better when breakfast was terrible and there was a higher chance of seeing a ‘hamster’. From now on it will always be served flawlessly even though the light around it is a shade or two darker than before.

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