Trump won’t commit to accept gravity

Trump is on the lookout for floating voters

During the third televised presidential debate, the United States’ most popular orange wig-stand, Donald Trump, has refused to commit to accept gravity.

“I have a tremendous plan to make America float again.” said Trump last night. “Crooked Hillary’s ‘universal laws’ have held this country down for far too long. Believe me, it’s gonna be so great….”

When pressed by the moderator to confirm his acceptance of gravity, Trump declined “I will tell you at the time” he stated, “Until then, I’m going to keep you in suspense; floating. That’s a metaphor by the way.”

“But let me say this. I respect gravity, I love gravity. No one loves gravity more than I do. Here’s the thing though, folks. In … it’s … rightful …place.”

“All our country’s great achievers have been floaters” he went on “Neil Armstrong – he floated all the way to the moon. Cassius Clay – he floated like a butterfly all the way to the World … sorry, Muhammed who?”

“OK, bad choice, moving on … Folks, with your help, Donald J Trump will go down in history as the greatest floater of all time. Thank you.”