Awkwardness as Osborne hasn’t realised he’s for the chop too


The clue’s on your hat, George…

Unexpected awkwardness was growing in the Conservative party this afternoon as it became apparent that chancellor George Osborne hasn’t yet realised that he is required to resign just as much as David Cameron.

In a buttock-clenchingly embarrassing display of obliviousness, Osborne has signalled his readiness to roll up his sleeves and begin work on economic adaptation to the new realities, tweeting “It is not the outcome I wanted but I respect decision of British people and will do all I can to make it work”.

“We just haven’t got the heart to tell him,” admitted a party spokesperson. “He’s all keen to get going, he doesn’t seem to have any idea that his political life expectancy is about three milliseconds longer than his mate Dave’s.”

“It’s a bit like one of those chickens still blissfully running around after its head’s been cut off, only more awkward. And with less chicken.”

To make matters even worse, Osborne has just sent an email inviting all his colleagues round to his place on Monday to watch England play Iceland in the footy.

“We’re all just cringing,” admitted one senior civil servant. “I’m just going to lock myself in the toilet and hide.”

“That’s where he’s put the rest of the country, so at least I won’t be lonely.”

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