Gove disputes John Barnes’ assertion that he’s voting Remain

Trust me, why would I lie to you?

Michael Gove insists John Barnes will vote Leave tomorrow, despite the former England footballer clearly stating the opposite.

“The country’s had enough of so-called experts” droned the pasty cabbage-patch doll lookalike “John Barnes has set himself up as ‘an expert’ on John Barnes but has he got a hidden agenda? I’m a much more reliable source of information, I used to tell lies write for Rupert Murdoch.”

Barnes, the former Liverpool and England legend, said he’s never supported the Leave campaign, composed as it is of closet racists, basement racists, attic racists, ‘out & proud’ racists and many well-intentioned people who don’t mind being associated with racists.

Gove, the UK’s Justice Minister because we can’t have nice things, was unrepentant. “Look, even my wife agrees with me on this. And she should know, she writes for the Daily Mail.”

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