Grown man delighted to spoil new Harry Potter play


Spolier alert: Hagrid is Keyser Söze and Ron can see dead people

Tremendous arsehole, Tim Trotman, has said that he is delighted to have been among the first people to see the new Harry Potter play and then to post the whole plot and mobile phone footage of it all over social media.

“Harry Potter’s magic,” he said. “The rush of knowing you’re seeing something new that would delight any child and then ruining it for as many as possible is indescribable. This is how sociopathic Dickens fans who could read fast must’ve felt as they ran through the streets yelling ‘Little Nell’s dead!'”

“They say that Harry Potter’s really for kids and that J.K Rowling’s just in it for the money however I’m forty-five and won’t make a penny off this and I’m having the time of my life.”

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