The UK woke up this morning to the awful news that there’s still a calendar month to go, before deciding on the political careers of Boris, IDS, Osborne, and Gove.
“Not even four weeks – a proper month.” said Harold Teaching assistant Carly Jeffery “Thirty one bloody days. Seven hundred and forty four soul-destroying sodding hours. And I’m an insomniac, so I’ll be awake for most of them!”
Jeffery believes that a British Bill of Rights must include something about the run-up to future elections, with the current campaign amounting to cruel and degrading treatment.
“When I’m gazing at the ceiling at 3am, I can hear Michael cabbage-patch-doll Gove in one ear, telling me “There’ll be monsters under your bed”, if I vote to stay and George quite-a-long-way-along-the-spectrum Osborne saying the same thing in the other ear if I vote to go.”
“I’m an instinctive Remainer” she admitted “but unknown more years of a braying Farage running on Duracell, every time I turn on the TV? That’s more than flesh and blood can stand so I’m voting Leave, just to get it over with.”