“Studying chromosomes is in my DNA” claims 3rd-generation geneticist

DNA animation by brian0918™ via Wikimedia Commons

Twists and turns

Local amateur chromosome-enthusiast Brian Aubrey, whose father and grandfather both took a keen interest in genetics, has concluded that the driving force behind their common pastime must be in his DNA.

His hypothesis was published in this month’s edition of Naturist World.

“For editorial reasons, they changed the title to ‘DNA: The Bare Facts’ and preferred to illustrate the article with a photo of some rather healthy-looking women playing volley ball on a beach in Spain, which they said was more interesting than my diagram showing the distribution of chromosomes in a double helix.”

“The problem is finding an outlet for your research. It’s a highly competitive business and sometimes it’s necessary to resort to click-bait tactics to get your message out there.”

Brian’s previous publications cover a variety of DNA-related speculations, including a piece about the high levels of Neanderthal DNA likely to be present in the House of Lords, titled ‘DNA: The Naked Truth’ and illustrated with pictures of Swedish females enjoying a snowball fight.

“Then there was my conjecture about the entire front bench of the Tory party whose DNA is clearly twisted out of all recognition. They went with ‘Inherited Wealth Nothing To Do With DNA’ and used pictures of lumberjacks wearing only hard hats and safety boots hanging in harnesses from the branches of giant redwoods, showing off their power tools.”

“I asked them if that was a metaphor for the politicians holding the tools of power but hanging like puppets from strings attached to the giant redwoods of the banking sector. No, they said. It’s porn.”

Brian has high hopes for his teenage son, Gene, to continue his research.

“He takes a great interest in my work and keeps all my publications handy on his bedside table. But his mother, who insists he’s a girl called Jean, is convinced that the only hobby for her will be in the field of haematology, just like her and her own mother. She says it’s in her blood.”


DNA animation by brian0918™ via Wikimedia Commons

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