Corbyn-inspired oil price slump ‘a threat to UK recovery’ says Osborne

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve a housing estate to build, single-handed

As the world’s economy teeters on the brink of another crash, the Chancellor has identified that the blame lies with Jeremy Corbyn. “It’s his fault. Oh, and Liam Byrne, do you remember – ‘I’m afraid there’s no money’?, that’s him.”

Mr Osborne is angry that his successful long-term economic plan is being put at risk, by the Labour leader’s reckless meddling with the world’s economic levers. He took time out from building a housing estate for hard-working tax-payers to express his frustration

“I’ve taken tough decisions for 6 years, putting right Gordon Brown’s global banking crisis.” says Osborne”So it’s like a kick in the teeth to find Labour is still at it behind the scenes, growing beards, lowering oil prices and slowing down China’s economic growth.”

“It’s the little people I feel sorry for though.” said an emotional Mr Osborne, fighting back tears. “Wallpaper designers, wallpaper shops, people expecting to inherit a baronetcy and a wallpaper businesses strong enough to support a baronet.”