Parents use home screen snog selfies to curb kids screen time

The horror

Local parents have solved the problem of excessive screen time turning their children into drooling homunculi who don’t know what trees are by putting pictures of them kissing on the home screens of all their children’s gadgets.

“Nothing repulses kids faster than the idea of Mum and Dad, or Mum and Mum, or Dad and Dad, or Mum and Just Call Him Uncle For Now And We’ll See How Things Go getting amorous,” Harold parent Ceaserina Okereke told us. “Mine took one look and ran out of the room. Which is good because kids don’t get much exercise these days. Now instead of watching crap on YouTube they want to play board games and read books.”

However not all parents agree that cutting down on screen time is the best thing for their children all themselves.

“They’ve got phones, laptops and iPads for a reason,” said one parent who wished to remain anonymous. “And that reason is so that when I get in from work I can get some bloody peace.”