Joy turns to despair: It’s not Blair facing Iraq war crime trials

The fist of history biffs Blair in the face

“Am I a war criminal? Perhaps I’ll never know.”

Street parties have been cancelled up and down the land, after it emerged that it’s not foreign dictator consultant Tony Blair facing possible trial for Iraqi war crimes, but some of the squaddies from the business end.

At the Squirrel Lickers yesterday, Dan Brooks voiced his frustration.

“Those war crimes idiots can’t see the dunes for the sand. They’ll prosecute a soldier for killing a civilian, fair enough, but not the man who might be responsible for 500,000 deaths. I love a good street party too, with all the bunting and a four piece jazz band; bastards.”

Brooks, a corporal with Harold TA, says that at least the squaddies will get fast-track justice. “They’ll probably be out again before that Chilcott finishes his book.”

“Despite everything though, it must be awful for Blair. Left in limbo all these years. Never really knowing whether he’s a pretty straight sorta guy after all, or a deluded warmongering arse. ”

“In his heart of hearts,” concluded Brooks “say when he’s taking Holy Communion, he probably knows he’s the arse. So that’s something to celebrate.”



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