Idiots arguing over plastic bag tax to be charged 5p


Even a sea cucumber could understand. Now be quiet, you’re holding up the queue


Selfish morons who waste everyone’s time at supermarket checkouts arguing the toss over the plastic bag tax will be charged an extra five pence from today.

“Anyone claiming that they don’t understand must pay,” said Woodrow Gunther, owner of Harold supermarket Guntco’s. “By using a shop a customer is clearly demonstrating that they are familiar with the concept of paying for things so getting the arse over plastic bags will result in them having to pay the stupidity tax as well.”

The stupidity tax will act as a deterrent and will soon be rolled out to other venues engaged in something very simple where a mouthy fool can delay a lot of innocent people for no good reason. It’s predicted that hundreds of millions of pounds will be raised  for good causes once it’s applied to pubs and railway ticket offices.

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