Anti-gentrificationist’s home given makeover during break-in by hipsters

When they got home they found wind chimes in their garden

In a surprise revenge attack, hipsters broke into an anarchist’s home over the weekend, when he was out demonstrating against a cereal cafe, then filled it with John Lewis soft furnishing and fabrics.

“When we got back from the demo” sobbed one of the victims, Jeff Jones “we found some low-life had left a pair of lava lamps and an original Bang & Olufsen turntable in the living room and a fondue set in the kitchen.”

“The walls had been rubbed down and daubed with two coats of Taupe matt from the Shades Of Sanderson Collection” he went on “and the nutters had even hung a set of wind chimes outside the back door. Prison is too good for them.”

Worse was to come though, said a tearful Mr Jones “When our friends called round and saw the state of the place, they kicked us out of the anarchist club.”