Dismay as Bono and Bob Geldof announce they’re releasing a song about refugees

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Worst pantomime horse ever

The refugee crisis has taken a darker turn with the announcement that Bono and Bob Geldof are going to release a song about it.

“To people with nothing I offer the thing they really need: music,” said Bono. “I represent the refugees. They haven’t asked me to represent them. It’s cheeky but I hope they’re glad I do. I’m the man who said of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown ‘they are kind of the John and Paul of the global development stage, in my opinion. But the point is, Lennon and McCartney changed my interior world – Blair and Brown can change the real world’ what further proof of my expertise on politics and humanity do you need?”

“To the refugees I say, guys, quiet down. Bono’s got this. Let Him be heard.”

“What we’re saying to the world is listen to us,” said Sir Bob Geldof. “Listen to me and Bono. Oh and maybe a little bit to Midge Ure who’s still hanging around for some freaking reason. People are dying NOW! Give us your attention NOW!”

Bono and Sir Bob’s song will be recorded and released as soon as they can think of a rhyme for crisis that isn’t Isis.

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