Refunds demanded after ‘Wall of Death’ rider barely injured

Disappointingly, all of the performers survived.

Villagers who paid to watch a so-called ‘Wall of Death’ have reacted angrily after a rider was left with only a broken collar bone.

Members of the public paid over £2 each to watch the spectacle at the summer fete, but were disappointed by the superficial nature of the injury.

The Wall of Death is a traditional attraction, in which motorcyclists ride around a circular shed until someone is killed.

“My friend Simon said that he watched it last year, and a man’s head came off”, said Bobby Evans, 9. “But all I saw was a guy whose arm went a bit floppy. His bone wasn’t even sticking out through his leathers.”

Bobby fears that he won’t need counselling after the experience, although his father Phil said there was still a chance of septicaemia.

“We did our best to rub some dirty hay in his wound, but a member of St. John’s Ambulance then produced a Wet Wipe”, complained Phil, a local farmer.

“If you ask me, they had no intention of honouring the implied contract. Next year, I’m going to throw a cow in.”

Harold’s summer fete is often the scene of controversy. Last year, council inspectors were forced to close the ghost train, after complaints that it was barely haunted.

“They have a duty of care when they sell tickets to these things”, said cllr Ron Ronsson. “It’s not enough to exhume the recently deceased, dangle them from the roof and then just simply hope for the best.”