Fresh from finally securing the transfer of Raheem Sterling from Liverpool, Manchester City have agreed to pay Tesco £2.75m for a bag of pickled onion Monster Munch.
City’s expert negotiators stopped off at a Tesco Express after a hard day thrashing out just how far over the odds they would pay for Sterling, and picked up the crisps. After a brief conversation with the store manager they agreed to hand over £2.75m, with a further £500k subject to appearances, for the pickled onion flavoured snack, which has a retail price of just 60p.
“I recognised them as Manchester City people by the club crest on their suits, and the briefcases full of cash that they were carrying.” explained Sue Black, the store manager who agreed the sale. “When I heard them discussing how the Monster Munch would help them meet their corn-based snack quota I quickly decided to try inflating the price to over four million times the RRP.”
To Sue’s surprise the club representatives quickly agreed to pay the fee, while also suggesting some add-ons and without even asking for a bottle of Fanta to be thrown in to the deal.
“The funny thing is they were approaching their best before date anyway, so we were looking at potentially having to sell them off on the cheap before City came along.”