Luxor hotel, Vegas to feature ‘fun’ suicide bombers


‘Like being abroad, but more real.’

Las Vegas is planning to make the Luxor casino resort ‘even more Egypty’, by dressing some staff as terrorists.

Renowned for its eye for historic detail, the Pyramid-inspired hotel will soon ring to the sound of small ‘entertainment explosions’.

“We know that Americans are fascinated by Egypt, just enough to drive to the desert and gawp at a fibre-glass sphinx”, said manager Chuck Kowalski.

“But a few have complained that it isn’t authentic, and that there aren’t enough terrorists for them to have a pop at.”

Kowalski blames the internet for leaking news of the ‘real Egypt’ into the conscious of America, but sees desperate suicide bombers as an opportunity, rather than a threat.

“All our staff are paid equity and we provide them with medical insurance, as well as some pretty good bullet-proof vests.”

“Why not empty a clip into the chest of a young man dressed as a terrorist?”, asked Kowalski, “and then brag about it afterwards, over a talibanana daiquiri in the Muslim Brotherhood bar?”

With a large pool of desperate migrant workers to draw on, aren’t the visitors to the resort worried that their holiday ‘war’ is unwinnable, we asked?

Kowalski replied “That’s never been a concern of those who visit our casinos.”

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