Ocado van spotted on council estate

Driver left traumatised after delivering to neighbour.

There were gasps amongst Harold’s more successful residents yesterday, after an Ocado van was photographed in an area prone to social housing.

The van, later identified as ‘Alan in his Raspberry’, is thought to have contained kumquats in a built-up area.

“I expect more from a company so closely associated with Waitrose”, said cllr Ron Ronsson. “If they’re delivering in these sorts of places, who knows what their vans could pass on?”

Ocado’s head of social engineering, Hermione Cavolo-Nero, apologised for the grave error and promised to have the driver shot.

“Blindly following your satnav into a canal is one thing, but knowingly turning into a council estate is quite another”, said Cavolo-Nero. “It’s not our intention to let them eat brioche.”

Alan’s Raspberry has been vigorously dabbed down with Essential bergamot disinfectant wipes, and the tyres have been taken away and burned.

“We’re not sure how this happened, but it appears some Asda customers may be using VPNs”, said Cavolo-Nero. “In future we’ll demand residents demonstrate the correct use of a runcible spoon before we complete their delivery.”