Julien Blanc to train with Sheffield United


So proud

Only hours after backtracking on their decision to welcome Ched Evans back to the club, Sheffield United have caused more controversy by announcing that despised ‘pick-up artist’ Julien Blanc will begin training with them on Monday.

Blanc has been struggling with fitness after legal difficulties prevented him from being loathsome in several countries, and the Sheffield club are believed to have offered him facilities to practise choking, grabbing and being an arsehole.

“We’re enormously proud,” explained manager Nigel Clough. “We feel that just because he’s a revolting piece of slime, he shouldn’t be prevented from making a living.”

“We might have been a bit naive with the whole Ched Evans thing, but who could possibly have thought that anyone would be unhappy about us welcoming back a rapist? It’s a funny old world.”

“Anyway, this time we really think we’ve got it right – surely no-one can complain about Julien Blanc.”

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