Intensive training should improve speed and technique for the GP itself

Although crowd funding allows Caterham F1 to contest the season finale, high fuel costs mean cuts elsewhere and plucky Harold Scouts have agreed to step in and provide cheap pit-crew services.

“It’s not our first vehicle venture.” said Rev Tansy Forster of 3rd Harold Scouts “Last year we made over £32.73 from a sponsored car wash and we’ll carry that experience into the race next weekend.”

The in-administration race team hopes to be competitive, but has taken on board Institute of Advanced Motorist advice to ‘drive at 50 in 7th gear for best fuel efficiency’.

“Lower speeds may be frustrating for drivers” accepted the Administrator “but they’ll help the Kwik-Fit budget range tyres last the whole race and also the drive back to my office”.

Kamui Kobayashi has been retained as Caterham’s number one driver, whilst terms of the crowd funding mean 67 donors will have a lap each in the second car. Sadly, a shortage of spares means that, in the event of engine failure, the latter car will be fitted with cardboard strips to rub against the wheel spokes although that would risk breaching current noise limits.

IMPORTANT: Always check first that it isn’t diesel. That stuff tastes like shit

After an incident at pre-race testing for pit-crews, fans parking cars near the Caterham pits were warned by circuit staff to ensure their fuel caps are securely locked.