The Daily Bollocks
The Daily Mail’s exclusive story attacking the makers of feminist t-shirts for sweatshop conditions has been revealed to be total bollocks, it was revealed today.
In an unsurprising development, the Mail’s bitter criticism of the charity behind the ‘This is what a feminist looks like’ shirts has been comprehensively refuted by the Fawcett Society, which has produced evidence that the workers were paid above minimum wage, worked reasonable hours, were allowed to join unions and received paid overtime.
Eva Neitzert, deputy chief executive of the society, said in a statement: “We’re not surprised, frankly. That tedious bunch of bigoted arseholes will do anything to ridicule women. What a depressingly predictable load of toss.”
The Daily Mail, never afraid of breathtaking arrogance, had the nerve to run a story today reporting that the sweatshop claims were rubbish, sounding mildly critical of whoever might have made them in the first place. This being two days after the same newspaper slammed Ed Miliband’s ‘hypocrisy’ for wearing the ‘hugely embarrassing’ shirt.
Mail editor Paul Dacre was unrepentant this morning. “This t-shirt is undeniably produced by a women’s charity,” he argued, a thin stream of spittle running unheeded from the side of his mouth. “And therefore we have every right to report that the garments were made by starving lepers being roasted on spits. It could happen.”
When asked if he would be making a personal apology to Ed Miliband, Dacre exploded in a massive eruption of his own yellow festering bile. And not before time.
Media commentators have agreed that if any good has come out of the sorry incident, it is that once again everyone can be reminded that the Daily Mail supported Hitler’s Nazi Party before World War Two. It is believed that not nearly enough people remember this, and quite honestly, it’s fun to bring it up.
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