Theresa May: Fresh crisis as Norma Jean Baker resigns from Home Office

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Norma Jean Baker in happier times

Hapless Theresa May had barely sat down after pretending to apologise to the Commons for last weeks balls-ups, when ‘some Lib-Dem woman’ resigned from her team yesterday afternoon.

“I’m grateful to Norma Jean for all her work for the Home Office over the last err… months, years, how long was it?” said Mrs May.

“If only she’d stayed on longer we might have actually met. Then I could have dismissed her ridiculous pet theories about drug policy in person.

“The Home Secretary had been furious that coalition colleague Baker was formulating new drug policies based on evidence, rather than on the collected works of Daily Mail bile dispensers, Peter Hitchens and Melanie Phillips.

“Once you start down that road it’s a slippery slope – no offence.” said a Home Office spokesperson “You could easily end up with something awful that would damage the drinks industry’s profits in the run-up to Christmas.”

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