Robbie Williams manages to make childbirth more painful

'Robbie Williams shared photos and videos of himself and Ayda Field in the delivery suite.'

Actually, yes. It is all about me. It always is.

Robbie Williams tried to distract his wife Ayda from her recent  labour pains, with a spirited rendition of his hit song ‘Candy’ whilst she was in the maternity suite. “It was difficult to tell if it was working, because she usually whimpers when I’m performing.” said Williams.

The celebrity couple’s second child made a much-delayed appearance at Dunstable Royal Infirmary maternity unit as nurse Ærndís Vigfusson explained. “We’d already seen the baby’s head. But when Mr Williams started prancing about, the wee mite crawled back up the birth canal.
We had to coax him back out with some jelly tots and an exclusive contract with ‘Hello’ magazine.”

A spokesman for the infant said “Given the usual birth logistics, my client was expecting to arrive in close proximity to an arse. But finding such a big one, singing off-key and jigging round the delivery room, was quite a shock. He would have much preferred an unaccompanied birth. We may sue.”

Meanwhile, Ayda Field is delighted that Robbie has posted intimate moments of her labour on youtube, “Oh no, I definitely won’t regret this in years to come.”

Although the baby has not yet been named, Noel and Liam are amongst the bookies’ favourites.

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