No, not your vital signs, it’s your stock market performance
Young brain tumour patient Ashya King has arrived in Prague after flying in from Malaga.
The centre reviewed Malaga hospital documents before Ashya travelled but need to see bank statements before determining his suitability for treatment.
Mr King is due to meet doctors at the Proton Therapy Centre to discuss options. A spokesman explained that their specialist intervention is not suitable for everyone, particularly poor people or those who don’t attract widespread publicity.
“We usually target current accounts and instant access savings in the first phase. The second phase is more intensive and targets property and other longer-term investments.”
Experts say that proton beam therapy can be directed at complete financial portfolios more precisely than lasers. Unlike conventional treatments they stop once finances reach the red, rather than carrying on until medical bills can’t be met.
Totally unsuitable material for ‘humour’ – a dying child’s parents’ attempts to find treatment. This is not satire, just brash callousness.