Now forced marriage illegal, Clegg searches for another excuse to be a Tory

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With laws coming into effect today making forced marriage illegal, Nick Clegg has found himself desperately searching for other excuses to remain a Tory after the next election.

“It seems he will no longer be able to use the ‘they made me do it’ card,” the BBC’s Nick Robinson explained.

“Although he will protest to anyone listening that he is in this relationship against his will, we have noticed him starting to find new excuses that will allow him to remain Cameron’s bed fellow.”

But Nick Clegg has said he has not been making excuses for why he has been stuck in, what he called, a forced coalition.

“It was for the greater good and they made me do it,” he said. “But it was definitely not because I was power hungry and harbour secret a ambition to one day lead a real political party, like the Conservatives.”

When asked if he will walk away from Cameron now the forced union has been made illegal he said he would try. He then started stroking a picture of the prime minister saying he thinks he has Stockholm syndrome.

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