World peace brought about by hashtag

CaptureAfter #bringbackourgirls being tweeted millions of times was such a success other world problems are now being solved by hashtags. Over 3 million tweets have been made with the #bringbackourgirls tag since the abduction of 200 schoolgirls in Nigeria, and this has showed Boko Haram that their conduct is not acceptable to a huge number of Facebook and Twitter users.

“I honestly didn’t realise that kidnapping and selling a couple of hundred schoolgirls was such a social faux pas.” said a spokesman for the militant Islamist group, “We have learned the error of our ways via Twitter and will be returning them to their parents immediately. It’s all quite embarrassing really and I can only apologise on behalf of everybody involved.”

Following on from this a new hashtag, #stopkillingpeople, has now brought peace to Ukraine with pro-Russian forces and Ukrainian soldiers putting aside their differences to have a beer and go ice skating together. This happened after they saw that a load of students in Aberystwyth disapproved of them killing each other strongly enough to take approximately three seconds out of their day and send a tweet about it.

The power and impact of #stopkillingpeople is not just limited to Ukraine though. It has also helped in Iraq where an insurgent on his way to bomb a police checkpoint saw the hashtag on his smart phone, dismantled his home-made bomb, took a detour to a bakery, and took the policemen a lovely cake instead.

“There is so much pain and suffering in the world caused by people killing each other and it really gets to me, so I wanted to help.” explained Faye Whittaker of Dunstable, who is credited with starting the #stopkillingpeople trend, “I’m just glad to be making a difference because I decided that I was willing to do whatever it takes to do some good in the world. Just so long as it doesn’t involve leaving the house. And can be achieved via social media.”

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