With Max Clifford being found guilty on several counts of indecent assault, the main star of the trial, his small penis, has said it will write a book about it’s experiences and go on a book signing tour.
“Having a little cock attached to you is hard to live with, especially when that cock is Max,” Little Clifford said outside court.
The size of Clifford’s penis size was called into question during the trial, with it being described as ‘very small’.
“Being small hurts” Little Clifford continued, “but it does mean I have a story to tell, and Max reckons we could pay all our legal fees with my autobiography, ‘Swinging In Speedos’.
“I’m actually looking forward to it. I can’t wait to put my side of the story across in the book and during interviews on the This Morning sofa.
“Philip Schofield laughed at me when they spoke about me in court so it will be interesting to see if he laughs at me when looking at me in the eye.”
However, before any book and publicity tour can take place, Clifford and his little fella must be sentenced. If given a custodial sentence, the size of Little Clifford may well be closely checked again by many of his cell mates.
Although, as with many of these cases, there are no real winners, the German legal system has benefited from the trial. Seeing the difference that can be made by talking about the affairs of an old, extraordinarily small but wealthy cock made it it possible to put Bernie Ecclestone in the dock.
