NRA members across America today celebrated the timeless design and long range accuracy of the 6.5 mm Carcano Model 91/38 carbine, the rifle Lee Harvey Oswald used to assassinate President Kennedy.
“The Carcano 91/38 was everything you could want in a rifle, accurate for long shots from a 6th story window and yet still highly effective for the close combat stuff, like shooting a stranded motorist who stops by your house to borrow the telephone” said NRA spokesmen Jed Hicks. “The rifle was also sharply priced at $19.95, plus postage. Obviously I don’t approve of Oswald shooting the President, but his choice of mail-order rifle was excellent.”
“Obviously Oswald’s rifle was the most memorable thing from 22 November 1963, but some of the Secret Service weaponry came a close second” observed Hicks. “The Colt AR-15 high-velocity rifle that most of them had was the sort of weapon that, even now, gun fans proudly display on their bedside table to use against home invaders or provide something for the kids to play with.”
Hicks said that a vintage November for gun enthusiasts was crowned by the televising of Jack Ruby’s .38 calibre Colt Cobra revolver on 24 November 1963.
“The Colt Cobra was a classic – its lightweight aluminium frame and short barrel meant it could easily be concealed on a person yet be quickly deployed to resolve a parking dispute or deal with intruders posing as pizza deliverers.”
When asked whether perhaps President Kennedy wouldn’t have been assassinated if guns hadn’t been so freely available, Hicks quickly checked the pocket NRA guide to answering tricky questions.
“That old chestnut – people forget that guns don’t kill people, people do. It is perfectly obvious that Oswald could have just as easily bought a 300 foot-long baseball bat and whacked Kennedy over the head with that.”
“Obviously a baseball bat that size would cost more than $19.95, and might not be available by mail-order, but you will agree my point is still valid.”