In a move variously stated as being ‘inclusive’ or ‘desperate’, Mensa announced the creation of an associate member category called ‘Lensa’ based on looks rather than IQ. The new Lensa category is open to people who are in the 98th percentile of physical attractiveness regardless of whether they can recite Pi to 10 places or not.
Mensa spokesman Ethan Evans from Harold said that opening up membership was necessary to address the problem that none of the existing members were getting it on with each other.
“They all tended to over-think things too much – a girl would ask a guy back to her flat for coffee and the guy would reply that taking into account the cost of transport and the expenditure of time, it was much more logical to go to Starbucks.”
Evans acknowledged that measuring looks is seen as somewhat subjective, but they had come up with a scientific formula to make things fair and transparent for Lensa aspirants.
“Our formula allocates attractiveness points equally over four areas; head, chest, bottom /legs, and general body composition (height / weight), so just sending a photo of your breasts is no guarantee of Lensa status, though all such photos will be perused extremely carefully.”
Evans said that although the 98th percentile requirement seems strict, the membership committee can relax it in certain circumstances, such as when they are drunk and not terribly fussy.
Whether the Lensa change will be successful remains to be seen. Aspiring model Melanie Delaney seemed somewhat perplexed when asked whether she would apply to join.
“So they are not rich footballers, they are just smart people? Smart people who can’t afford to buy me diamonds and stuff?”
“Ha ha! I’m not sure I want to belong to any club that will belong to me, I mean will accept my member, uh I mean belong to a club that will remember me. Or whatever it was that Karl Marx said.”